I think so.
Words hurt, and sadly cannot be taken back. Once said, they become part of your DNA and linger in your mind forever. Watch not only what you say, but how you say it.
Last week I overheard a search consultant telling a candidate – “You’re too organic – you know, like Granola and Birkenstock is to Clicquot and Blahnik – face it, you just don’t have that Chanel look.”
Ouch! Whether the candidate wanted the role or not, the feedback had a venomous, long-lasting bite.
Here’s another one.
A (western) executive to a[n] (Asian) direct report: “I want to let you know that I think you’re useless. You have no courage and you don’t add value. Now that I’ve got that off my chest, let’s talk. I always feel better when I tell someone what I really think and feel- and you can do the same. So, do you agree?”
Straight, no chaser – the verbal assault is guised under ‘feedback’ and tolerated – the leader remains.
One of my favourites.
A harried leader with too many direct reports rushing to complete performance reviews. The company requires 100% compliance – your bonus depends on it. Behind in work, too many deadlines, what to do?
How about cutting and pasting the performance reviews?
Last month – performance review time– one of my clients showed me a performance review with the wrong name and different responsibilities. The overall rating was low but her boss claimed she was a hi-potential talent and yes, up for a promotion.
He replaced her name with a lower ranking employee, and failed to change the comments. Promotion forthcoming? Doubtful.
Two years ago, Samuel Colbert, UCLA professor, wrote an article and a book on “Get Rid of Performance Reviews” – highlighting the gruelling process everyone goes through to find something wrong with an employee’s performance. Colbert views the entire process as intimidating aimed at preserving authority and having a power advantage. Once again, links back to power.
What’s worse- frank feedback or faulty paperwork?
